Thursday, September 11, 2008

Some new Jokes in AIML

Thanks to a post to Dirk Scheuring to the Robitron mailing list, I leaerned about a Lisp program that generates jokes of the form, "What do you get when you cross X with Y?":


Example joke:

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A DANCE WITH A LEMON?
sour balls

I tweaked the Lisp program to output AIML, so you can include the jokes in chat bots like A.L.I.C.E.

Human: tell me a joke
JOKER: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CAT AND A LEMON?
Human: What?
JOKER: sour puss.
Human: tell me a joke
JOKER: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BUG AND A RELATIVE?
Human: what
JOKER: ant.
etc.

AIML:

<category><pattern>TELL ME A JOKE</pattern><template>
<random>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A MURDERER AND FROSTED FLAKES?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A COUNTRY AND AN AUTOMOBILE?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CHEETAH AND A HAMBURGER?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS FINALS AND A CHICKEN?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A RABBIT AND A LAWN SPRINKLER?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN EXCITED ALIEN AND A CHICKEN?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN ALIEN AND A CHICKEN?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS MUSIC AND AN AUTOMOBILE?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS SOUR MUSIC AND AN ASSISTANT?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS MUSIC AND AN ASSISTANT?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SERIOUS THIEF AND A MAD YOUNG MAN?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SERIOUS THIEF AND A CRAZY RABBIT?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A POPPY AND ELECTRICITY?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A DANCE AND A CHEETAH?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A DANCE AND A LEMON?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PORT AND FROSTED FLAKES?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PORT AND A MURDERER?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BANK AND A SKUNK?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A DING AND MILK?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A ROAD AND A STRAWBERRY?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A ROAD AND JELLY?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A TOAD AND A GALAXY?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A DOG AND SANDPAPER?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BUG AND A RELATIVE?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BAD BUG AND CANNED SAND?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN ANT AND A RABBIT?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CAT AND A PURPLE PERSON?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CAT AND A KILLER?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CAT AND A LEMON?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CAT AND A TUNE?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CAT AND A BAND?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PIG AND A NINJA?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CRAZY COW AND A BANNED PARROT?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A COW AND A LEMON?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A BAD COW AND A CANNED HAT?</li>
<li>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS JAM AND A TROUT?</li>
.
</random>
</template></category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A MURDERER AND FROSTED FLAKES</that>
<template>cereal killer.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A COUNTRY AND AN AUTOMOBILE</that>
<template>carnation.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A CHEETAH AND A HAMBURGER</that>
<template>fast food.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* FINALS AND A CHICKEN</that>
<template>eggs-ams.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A RABBIT AND A LAWN SPRINKLER</that>
<template>hare spray.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* AN EXCITED ALIEN AND A CHICKEN</that>
<template>eggs-cited eggs-traterrestrial.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* AN ALIEN AND A CHICKEN</that>
<template>eggs-traterrestrial.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* MUSIC AND AN AUTOMOBILE</that>
<template>cartune.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* SOUR MUSIC AND AN ASSISTANT</that>
<template>bandaide and lemonaide.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* MUSIC AND AN ASSISTANT</that>
<template>bandaide.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A SERIOUS THIEF AND A MAD YOUNG MAN</that>
<template>boycrazy grave robber.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A SERIOUS THIEF AND A CRAZY RABBIT</that>
<template>hopping mad grave robber.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A POPPY AND ELECTRICITY</that>
<template>flower power.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A DANCE AND A CHEETAH</that>
<template>fastball.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A DANCE AND A LEMON</that>
<template>sour balls.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A PORT AND FROSTED FLAKES</that>
<template>I don't know, but it's serial.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A PORT AND A MURDERER</that>
<template>serial killer.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A BANK AND A SKUNK</that>
<template>dollars and scents.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A DING AND MILK</that>
<template>cow bell.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A ROAD AND A STRAWBERRY</that>
<template>traffic jam.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A ROAD AND JELLY</that>
<template>traffic jam.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A TOAD AND A GALAXY</that>
<template>star warts.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A DOG AND SANDPAPER</that>
<template>I don't know, but it's ruff.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A BUG AND A RELATIVE</that>
<template>ant.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A BAD BUG AND CANNED SAND</that>
<template>banned band.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* AN ANT AND A RABBIT</that>
<template>bugs bunny.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A CAT AND A PURPLE PERSON</that>
<template>purrr-ple purrr-son.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A CAT AND A KILLER</that>
<template>mew-rderer.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A CAT AND A LEMON</that>
<template>sour puss.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A CAT AND A TUNE</that>
<template>mew-sic.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A CAT AND A BAND</that>
<template>mew-sic.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A PIG AND A NINJA</that>
<template>pork chops.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A CRAZY COW AND A BANNED PARROT</that>
<template>canned carrot.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A COW AND A LEMON</that>
<template>sour milk.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* A BAD COW AND A CANNED HAT</that>
<template>banned cat.</template>
</category>
<category>
<pattern>WHAT</pattern>
<that>* JAM AND A TROUT</that>
<template>jellyfish.</template>
</category>
 

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